Stimulus and stockpiling drive gains, but hangover looms

China’s top foundry, SMIC has seen its quarterly net profit more than double to $188 million, thanks to a mix of Beijing’s largesse and geopolitical panic buying.

Russia, China ramping up dirty space tricks 

A 316-page report from the Secure World Foundation paints a grim picture of the growing space arms race, with Russia and China doubling down on satellite jamming, spoofing, and cyber-attacks, especially in active war zones.

Treat your boffins nicely or they will be headhunted

China’s semiconductor headhunting just bagged another trophy as South Korean quantum materials expert Lee Young-hee took a full-time post at the Hubei University of Technology in Wuhan.

Looking to AI to sort things out

Bookshifter Amazon warned the cocaine nose jobs of Wall Street that the US tariff policy is battering its bottom line. Shares dipped 2.3 per cent in after-hours trading after the company had a weaker-than-expected forecast for the second quarter.

Tim Cook reckons the “personal Siri” only half-baked

The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple’s much-hyped “Apple Intelligence” revamp of Siri is struggling to remember its lines, with company boss Tim Cook telling the cocaine nose jobs of Wall Street that it is still nowhere near ready for showtime.

New GPU plugs gaps left by banned H20 chips

Nvidia is pushing production of its new B300 AI chip forward to May, using Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing’s latest 5nm (N4P) process and CoWoS-L advanced packaging technology.

Tariffs push Job’s Mob to double down on Indian production

The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple is scrambling to shift all US-bound iPhone assembly to India by 2026, as US tariff tantrums make China too hot to handle.

Export rules can’t keep China out of the AI loop

Taiwan’s semiconductor overlord, TSMC, has admitted there’s no foolproof way to keep its advanced chips out of China’s hands, despite tightening US export controls and a looming tariff storm.

Custom AI chips with local partners

The dark satanic rumour mill has manufactured a hell on earth yarn claiming that Nvidia is going all-in on a Plan B: building custom, China-specific AI chips through partnerships with domestic tech firms like DeepSeek.

Analysts look down the back of the sofa

Nvidia’s stock has been in freefall, shedding more than $250 billion in market cap this week after it revealed a $5.5 billion charge tied to US export restrictions on its H20 AI chips to China.