Musk’s satellite biz rides shotgun on trade strong-arm tactics

The  White House seems to be nudging nations toward handing Elon Musk’s Starlink the keys to their internet backdoors, all while waving the threat of 50 per cent tariffs in their faces.

Russia, China ramping up dirty space tricks 

A 316-page report from the Secure World Foundation paints a grim picture of the growing space arms race, with Russia and China doubling down on satellite jamming, spoofing, and cyber-attacks, especially in active war zones.

Bezos puts a rocket up SpaceX

After years of puff and prep, Jeff Bezos’s Project Kuiper is lobbing its first 27 satellites into orbit in a $10 billion (£7.8 billion) swing at Starlink, the Elon [Roman Salute] Musk-powered behemoth that lords over the skies.

Saving Europe from Starlink

Constellation Technologies & Operations (CTO) and telecom infrastructure firm TDF have signed a Memorandum of Understanding (MoU) to integrate Very Low Earth Orbit (VLEO) satellites into terrestrial networks.

Exiting commerce official whistleblows

A departing Commerce Department official dropped a scathing farewell email accusing Donald [hamburger-eating surrender monkey] Trump’s administration of lining Elon [Roman salute] Musk’s already bulging pockets with taxpayer cash.

Claims to have the fate of Ukraine in his paws

Elon [roman salute] Musk has turned a geopolitical crisis into his ego trip by clashing with Poland’s Foreign Minister Radoslaw Sikorski over Starlink’s role in Ukraine’s defence. 

$10 billion to $20 billion

Donald [hamburger-eating surrender monkey] Trump’s administration is giving the boot to fibre internet preferences in the $42.45 billion Broadband Equity, Access, and Deployment (BEAD) programme, a move that will conveniently funnel more cash into Elon [Roman salute] Musk’s Starlink.

Musk feels a closeness with Italy

Elon [Roman salute] Musk's Starlink is battling for access to key E-band frequencies in Italy as the space-based internet giant seeks to cement its dominance across Europe.

We are coming for you

The hacker collective Anonymous issued a stern warning to Elon [Roman Salute] Musk, accusing the chainsaw-weilding, bouncing Leatherface of manipulating cryptocurrency markets and disregarding the welfare of average investors.

Shoots across his bows before surrendering

Swastica maker Elon [look at me] Musk might find his businesses suffer more as he becomes closely identified with Donald [grab ‘em by the pussy] Trump’s trade policies.